Today I sandwich myself between Jonny and Emilia on the couch.
We're going to read their science textbook and, although I can't remember exactly, this is pretty much how it goes...
Read a line. Tommy's whining. He wants up, but he doesn't. Tell Tommy to play with a car. Read a word. Tell Matthew to play cars with Tommy. Read a line. Tommy's still whining. Matthew makes a car jump and it hits me in the leg. Read a word or two. Tommy does not want to play cars. He wants to whine. Matthew crawls up on my lap. Read a couple words. Read a word while Matthew wiggles and wiggles and wiggles. Ask Matthew if he has to go to the bathroom. Of course he doesn't. Read a line while Jonny and Emilia are giggling at Tommy who now has Emilia's baby doll. Read a word or two. Emilia is up getting her doll. Tommy wants the doll. The boys are laughing. I'm still attempting to force the line out of my mouth despite the pandemonium. All of the sudden I stop reading words and we are all laughing and singing. The uproar is deafening. Tommy is now standing loudly on my lap. Matthew is wild on the other side of the couch. I'm pretty sure Jonny is attempting to tackle me like I'm a football player. The baby doll is still the prized possession. I resume reading after the baby doll is hidden and when I tell everyone to "be quiet" and "sit still" or "you can go to your room".
Finally we read two pages.
A whole two pages.
And it wears.me.out.